Posh Girls are ANTI-ABUSE!

Abuse

• to use wrongly or improperly; misuse
• to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way
• to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about
• to commit sexual assault upon
• a corrupt or improper practice or custom

As part of the spring cleaning process, my laptop did not get left out. Many photos, documents, random files etc needed trashing. I happened to stumble upon that famous TMZ picture of a battered Rihanna and remembered my extreme annoyance at hearing she had returned to the ****!
Now clearly from my point of view, at this moment, Rihanna is not what I would consider a Royal Poshness, far from it. Oprah gave her very good advice when she said 'If a man hits you once, he will hit you again!'



So what is it that makes women return to the person who almost smashed them to death? Believe it or not, it's the same thing that makes you stay with the one who treats you like a goddess- love. Sometimes I hate love, but you gotta love love. It makes us do very unthinkable things.
I remember seeing a case of domestic violence and severe abuse as a medic and even when this poor girl couldn't speak- she still managed to muffle something like 'I lurf im'. Yes I wanted to beat her some more deep down but being the professional that I am, I tried to put myself in her shoes. These things start very slowly- you upset a guy, he points a finger at you, next thing he pushes you out of the way, next thing he slaps you and then next thing you are dead!

You are probably wondering how some people can allow things to get so far cos if it were you, you'd leave before he even realised it , right? Think again, the problem is that it doesn't happen just like that. I've heard all kinds of excuses because intertwined in all this is emotion. In between those fits of violence, you bought a house together, you have 3 kids and you do not want to go through divorce, he is the best partner ever except when he is angry, the list goes on.


Ladies...STOP!!!

Stop making excuses for any low life who thinks that it is occasionally OK to hit you. It is not OK to hit any woman just because you are stronger and you can (OK she annoyed you too). Everybody annoys everybody- that's life. So everything has to always be good and when it is bad the woman should get beat up?! NO, absolutely not!

The point of this post is to actually alert you to the diverse forms of abuse, which most people do not even realise (not to rant on about hitting women, you can tell that issue is dear to my heart!).

Obviously the first is physical abuse, which I have gone on about. This does not only apply to men you know. It applies to other girls, parents, other relatives, you name it. Abuse is abuse.

Verbal abuse is one which really fascinates me. People think it is OK for someone to lash out when they are angry and call them names. Yeah he was angry and he called me a f*****g slut! No way. Next he will say something like 'you f****** ***** ****** ********* b****! (Yes it's that bad it all had to be censored for the blog).
You need to politely tell them to stop (if you do it, you need to politely tell yourself to stop), else one day in front of some very important people you will be amazed what will come. The other thing is the high voice and the aggression that comes with it. That is just oppression and bullying. Posh girls do not stand for that.

Psychological abuse is the worst form of abuse ever. It inflicts internal wounds. Blackmail is a perfect example of this. 'If you leave me, no one will go out with you cos you are too fat and ugly'. Other things like coercion - 'Better do this cos if you tell no one will believe you'; Humiliation - 'Your GPA is 1' (in public); Intimidation - 'You have to pay the bills because I said so' (says the giant boyfriend); Alienation- 'You can't watch TV with me, you don't belong here' (clearly you do it's your house) etc all belong here.

Spiritual abuse: did I say psychological abuse was the worst? My apologies.
This is the classic 'God said you should turn the other cheek, do not retaliate, vengeance is for the Lord, God said to love everybody including your enemies' Are you getting the vibe here? or 'You know its the right thing to do, how can you live with yourself after leaving him, what will you say to the kids when they grow up and ask you?'

This is all crap crap crap. Crap being using people's spiritual beliefs and virtues to abuse them.

Oh Lord it gets worse. We are unto financial abuse. Has anyone seen that episode of desperate housewives where Orson asks Bree to sell her company? If you have not, go find destiny's child's bills bills bills. Of all the abuses I believe this is the commonest and most difficult to recognise, as well as being notoriously difficult to get out of. There's something about not being able to tell people your man lives off you (by living, I mean buying non-essential things other than food, clothing). When people pile on bills because you pay, that is abuse and this is usually hand in hand with other forms of abuse (especially substances). 'You have to pay the bills or else bla bla bla'...


Lastly is substance abuse. This is a strange kind of abuse because it indirectly involves you. He comes from the bar very drunk, punches you in the face, smashes the house and then the next morning he says he is sorry he was drunk! No we are not having that. It's unnecessary. Any other substance is just as bad- coke, weed, you name it. If it can get the brother into trouble, it can get YOU into trouble as well.

I have tried to use some very obvious examples for all of these just so you can understand how easily abuse can start. I know there are people out there who help their partners go through alcohol abuse and the odd person who stops being abusive after 40 years but I'm targeting you, my royal poshnesses, while its early and you still can, flee from all this drama. You don't need it. Abuse is not a form of love in any way shape or form. Love can be challenging but it doesn't have to hurt...